The F-Bomb

     I used to use a lot of swear words in my everyday vocabulary.  I especially enjoyed using the f-word.  It fits in so well, especially after every other word.  You can always tell someone's level of frustration or drunkenness by the number of swear words they can fit between the non-swear words.
     I used to be a bartender, and there was a group of regulars who came in quite often.  You could always tell if they had been drinking before they came to your bar, and you could always tell their level of drunkenness by the frequency of the swear words.  The volume and concentration of swear words, especially the f-word, escalated the more they drank  Low concentrations didn't bother me so much, but it always seemed to become more and more offensive as the night progressed.  It wasn't until I had children and then started a day care center that I really got my own mouth under control.  My rule became: If you wouldn't want to hear it comin' out of your two-year-old's mouth, you shouldn't say it in front of them.  My husband is in construction and he used to say that swearing is just how we talk all day.  It was hard for him to tone it down when he got home, but he is getting better.  Now when I hear someone swear it shocks me.  When it comes out of my mouth, I feel guilty almost immediately.
     I saw in an article somewhere that there is much more swearing allowed in PG-13 movies than there used to be.  Not Cool.  "If swear words are the best you can come up with, then you aren't very smart."  My best friends mom used to say something like that when people were swearing around us, and probably to me when I had a potty mouth. Reading that there are more swear words in PG-13 movies reminds of a time when my older daughter said something about an event "dumbing it down" to attract more guests.  It is too bad that with our current level of technology and the opportunities for people to be educated better than ever before, that we are "dumbing it down" in order to profit.  One would think that with all the creativity out there, someone would be innovative enough to come up with something wholesome, or at least not offensive, that is also popular and profitable. What a waste.
     I do have a positive note to end on, however.  I said I'd keep it positive.  On a recent family trip, we were sitting at a table eating lunch and there was a group of 18-25 year olds sitting at the next table.  One of the girls said something very sassy.  I didn't hear it, but my husband must have because he shot a concerned look in that direction.  We continued eating and forgot about it.  When the young group got up from their table to leave, one of the younger looking boys came up to our table and apologized to us for his friend's mouth.  We were pleasantly shocked by this boy's manners. It is too bad that we had to be shocked by someone actually displaying proper manners, but I am glad that manners are still being taught and even learned.  I don't know if his friends knew what he did, but it sure made an impression on us.  I hope that he is one of those kids who is looked up to, what a good role model he could be.

The debate continues

     Over to the right and down a bit.  That is where you'll find a monkey who looks like he's thinking really hard. At some point he was pondering this:  Why is it that you can tell someone that there are 400 billion stars in the universe and he will believe you, but when you tell him the paint on the bench is wet, he has to touch it?
     I love that monkey.  He always gives me something else to think about.  As if I don't already have too much on my mind.  Oh well, I rather be busy than bored.
     The question above is all about faith isn't it?  I had an interesting discussion with my mother about faith and her lack of it.  We were talking about how there may be no heaven or hell.  This topic brought up the fact that there are things you would never do if you were afraid of where you would end up in the afterlife.  If you don't believe in the afterlife, however, you really don't have to worry about how your actions affect anybody.  I am not sure that is good.  Do the majority of people who have left the church still believe in God and Heaven?  Just because they left, does that mean the belief ends?  Does it matter?  Is going to church just too inconvenient in our over scheduled, tired society?  I know a lot of people who are Christians who do not go to church.  Does it make them less Christian?  Does going to church make you a better Christian?  This can be debated forever and ever, but do those who are Christian and go to church have more of a chance to deepen their faith with the help of their pastors/ministers?  When I don't make it to mass, I miss it.  I am on a committee at our church called Worship and Spiritual Life.  I am mostly involved with the environmental aspect of this committee, but I am going to a training session so that I can help the parish adjust to the new changes in the mass that will take effect during advent.  I am excited to be involved with this and it makes me feel that I am helping.  What I learn here helps me to understand my faith a little better.
     The above questions will never be answered to the satisfaction of all people.  The debate will continue to the end of time, and some would argue that it will have to continue beyond that.  I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Kickstarter.com project officially launched

     The kickstarter.com page is officially launched.  I even made a video.  Go to kickstarter.com and look for The Friendship Quilt.  Read it! Watch it! Back me if you dare! Ha Ha !  Can you tell that I'm excited?  Keep watching for updates.  I'm going to go update the other blog with this information.

Kickstarter.com

     When I started this blog, I told myself that I would try to only publish positive stuff.  No whining or complaining.  It has been a while since I've written here, but that doesn't mean that I haven't been writing.  I gave myself a break from this, and hopefully now I'm back with a renewed positive attitude.  

     I have been frustrated about not having time to write the Friendship Quilt.  I think I have the solution.  I found a website called kickstarter.com.  This site is amazing!  Artists, musicians, writers, film makers,  etc. can go to this site to get funding for their projects.  The artist creates a project profile that includes funding/backing options.  With these options are rewards that the backers can receive as a thank you for helping to fund the project. Rewards are things like copies of the finished products like books or cds.   The rewards can be as simple as a thank you postcard. I have started creating my project's profile. I need to make a short video and then I will be ready to launch the page. The backers are people just like you and me.  Sometimes businesses will fund projects too.   I will be launching a campaign to tell everyone about this. The more who know, the better my chances of raising the money to complete the project.  It is an all or nothing kind of thing.  No money changes hands until the target date has been reached, and then only if the target monetary goal has been reached. Check out kickstarter.com for yourself.  There are some great projects going on right now.  Mine will be up soon under the name, The Friendship Quilt.  I'll keep you posted.

Twenty Year Class Reunion?

     I am not doing a really good job of keeping up with this blog.  I guess it takes more time than I thought it would.  Or maybe everything else does.  It is the year of my 20th Class Reunion in 2012.  I have bitter feelings about that.  I really don't mind that it means I'm in my late thirties, I just can't believe that I have lived within 20 miles of that school for the last twenty years and I've never been invited to a reunion.  I've heard that they haven't been worth going to, so I haven't missed much.  My point is that if you were on the class list and graduated from a place, that you warrant an invitation to the reunions.  Bitter? A little.  The class president started a facebook page for the AHS Class of 92.  I am now a member, someone else put my name down.  If I don't get an invitation this time, then there really is something wrong.
     The girls have basketball camp this week.  I must thank the Grandmas for playing chauffeur (is that a masculine word?  is their a feminine version?).  Their camps are at different times of the day, so it is four trips to and from school.  BIG THANKS!

Winter, Summer, Winter

    Man, we went from January straight to July. Yesterday it was at least 90 degrees outside.  In our house it was 88 degrees.  The air conditioner froze up.   The air conditioner was fixed and finally got the house down to a comfortable 75 degrees sometime overnight.  I woke up this morning and it is under 60 degrees outside.  At least I know that the air will work next time I need it.  Hopefully, that wasn't all the summer that we will get.
     The girls had their last day of school yesterday.  I now have an eighth grader and a fifth grader.   Wow, how they've grown.  I am so proud of them I almost cried when they showed me the all the award certificates they brought home.

Meeting the Kentucky Headhunters

     Another great weekend of camping.  We had a great time at the 1st Annual Side Pork Fest where we got to see the Kentucky Headhunters.  We also got to meet the band afterwards.  We have 'connections.'  My older daughter was very excited to get all of their autographs, and my younger daughter said the funniest thing about shaking the band members' hands.  Here it is: Daughter: "Mom, he shook my hand!"  Me: "Well, you know that you can't ever wash it now."  Daughter: "That's okay, I'll use a wipe to wash my hand, and I'll save the wipe." ~Daughter: "Mom, another one just shook my hand.  Now I'm gonna need two wipes!"  She is so silly.  I often wonder where they get it from.
     There are three days left of school.  It's a good thing too.  I am having a really hard time getting them up in the   morning.  It is time for a break.  I am looking forward to having lots of family time this summer.  We have a camping trip planned for just the four of us and three more softball tournaments.  Hopefully the weather cooperates for this tournament.  They had to play one and a half games in the rain last time.  The umpire wanted to call the last game because of the rain, but the girls wanted to keep playing. They ended up winning. My youngest got to make the winning run.

Back to Work

     We had a beautiful weekend surrounded by great friends and family.  The weather was perfect.  Today it is 80 degrees outside and a little humid.  I am so glad that winter is over.  I went to see the honor guards' ceremony for the fallen.  It was very moving.  I was a little disappointed that the baseball players in the nearby field couldn't stop practicing for the five minutes the ceremony actually took.  Not very respectful.  After performing this ceremony 19 times at cemeteries in the area, the guard gathered to perform it once more over a garden of perfectly planted flags at the Town Hall. The ceremony began with the reading of the names of those who had fallen in the last ten years.  Then the rifle squad gave their salute.  The event was finished off with two high school students performing echo taps on their trumpets.  Beautiful!
     I think that I only have one meeting planned for this week.  I hope that I'm not forgetting anything.  Maybe I can actually get some cleaning done.  I am so frustrated with the pile of papers on the dining room table.  Every time I start to go through them I get distracted.  UGGHHH!  Maybe today will be the day I actually get through the whole pile.
     My poem Cracked Mirror was not used in the new issue of Enchanted Conversation, but that means it is still mine.  I put it on Fanstory.com and got excellent reviews.  The next submission for Enchanted Conversation is in June and the theme is Cinderella.  I read Grimms' version last night before bed hoping to get some ideas.  Nothing yet, but I am going to try to give myself some quiet time to work on it tonight.  It is so nice to have prompts and deadlines even if my stuff doesn't get used.  What matters to me is that I am accomplishing something.  It is nice to see a finished product.

A busy, but relaxing weekend.

     My daughter's concert was very nice.  We have a great music department.  Now she is on a field trip to a place called Boncher's Courses.  It is a compass course.  It sounds like a lot of fun, I hope she has a good day.
     Next up, camping for Memorial Day.  My oldest daughter will be bagging groceries this evening to raise money for next year's trip to Washington D.C.  Then we can get down to camping.  The weather may actually cooperate.  I saw a forecast this morning, and it looked like the rain was going above and below us.  Hopefully that is the case.  That forecast also had us in the 70s for Saturday and Sunday, 80s on Monday.  Could it be that summer really is coming?  I hope so.  Have a great Memorial Day weekend everyone.

Concert tonight!

     There are campers in my back yard.  Too bad the weather isn't cooperating.  Sitting around freezing my butt off is not my idea of relaxation.  Oh, well.  Hopefully by the time I have time to sit around the weather will have decided to cooperate.  This evening we get to enjoy another concert at school.  This time it is the fourth and fifth grade choir and the 5th grade band.  My younger daughter is in fourth grade, next year she gets to pick an instrument.  She is thinking maybe flute, but then she might want to play the trumpet.  I told her to try both.  This is another short post, but that is okay.  I'd rather by busy than bored.

Time Flies

     Wow! it has been a long time since I have written here.  I have been working on some poems and a couple of short stories, so I am still writing.  Easter week was a busy one.  It seems so long ago now.  Since I last wrote, my youngest daughter's Softball team won third place in their first tournament as the Diamond Divas, I got to see Les Miserables with my oldest daughter and last night we enjoyed a middle school concert that included choir and band. Oh, and somewhere in there, the world did not end.  There has been so much going on that I just haven't had time to write on this blog.  Hopefully I'm back for a while.
     My oldest daughter is about to board a bus that will take her and her friends to the Brewer game in Milwaukee.  They've really earned this day of relaxation.  I hope they have a great time.
     We are having our Memorial Day camping get together at our house.  A couple of campers pulled in last night.  We are getting new tires on our camper today and then it will join the others in the back yard.  I am really looking forward to seeing everyone.  It seems like a long time since we've all been together.
     It seems like a short post, but I am a busy girl.  Hopefully I'll get back to this again tomorrow.

National Poetry Month

     We are halfway through National Poetry month.  What a great thing to celebrate.  I was reading about how poets usually can't make a living from writing poetry.  They usually have to find other ways to support themselves.  These days members of quite a few professions need to find other ways to support themselves.  I would love to be able to write short stories and poetry for the ten hours I spend on my day job, but it isn't likely that I ever will.  I would love to have time to work on a novel. I am a little afraid to start anything new, because I have so much going on that I'm having a hard time keeping up with myself already.  I am working on the Friendship Quilt and that will take a long time, because I only have so much time to work on it.  I feel like poetry and short stories are where my mind is right now.  While they do take effort and revision and time to age, I feel that they aren't as daunting as the thought of writing a full on novel.  I might not have the attention span for such a large undertaking, at least not right now.  I am leaning toward writing some combination of poetry and short stories for the each of the quilters and tying it all together with the quilt.  Without having a direct line to the actual events at the time of the making of the quilt, it would be nearly impossible to write anything truthful about the group as a whole.  I haven't given up on the search, but all the information I have received so far has included "I had not heard of the quilt until I read your article/I got your letter etc."
     So the search is still on for a living member of the quilting group so I can get the full scoop.  I am still excited about the project and have already started writing a few tidbits and have a good first draft of a poem down on paper.
     Next week is Holy Week, so I will be busy at church.  I may not get a whole lot of writing done, but I'll try to fit some in here and there.  Get out there and read some poetry for National Poetry Month.   I hear that Shel Silverstein has a new book of poetry out called "Every Thing On It."  I can't wait to read it.

Write, Write, Write!

     I am way behind on my "poem a week" adventure, but I worked on the Snow White poem for the Enchanted  Conversations site.  I think I finally got it.  I'll have to go back and see if it makes any sense today, but that is what it's all about.  At least I have it down on paper.  I have some time left to tweak it.  Snow White poetry submissions are due between Wednesday, May 11 and Saturday, May 14.  After Snow White, it will be on to Cinderella.  It is nice to have a topic and a deadline to work with, even if I don't get it published in enchantedconversation.com.  Maybe there will be a better place for it, like another contest or a book of my own poetry.
     I don't know that I will try to make up my missing poems, but I am going to try to get back to a normal schedule.  I feel quality is better than quantity, but if I don't have a goal, it can't be accomplished.
     I started another short story this week.  There are contests all over the place.  I need to pick one so that I have a goal date to finish this story, otherwise it may just end up half-written mess in one of my many notebooks.  I am sure I could always go back to it, but I do like to finish something every once in a while.  This might be a good time considering that there are so many contests coming up.

I love my computer!

     I have a love/hate relationship with my computer.  I love how fast it can do things that would take me days to accomplish.  I love that I can contact someone and they can read my message at their leisure, not when I call them in the middle of something.  I also love being able to look at emails when I have time.  It seems I'm always busy when someone calls.  They think that I am screening and don't want to talk to them.  Not true.  Well, okay I do screen, but not to decide if I want to talk to someone.  If I don't recognize the number, I assume that it is someone trying to sell me something or asking for money.  Hate that.  I also figure that if it is truly important, they will leave a message.  That is what voice mail is for, isn't it?
     What do I hate about computers? Well, how about when my computer tells me that its virus protection is turned off, and to 'click here' to fix the problem.  When I 'click here,' it doesn't tell me how to turn it back on or any other useful information that will help me fix it.  It is just some dead-end, or they try to sell me something like a higher level of protection.  'Cause obviously mine isn't good enough.  How is it that my virus protection tells me that it is checking my email attachments and that they do not contain any threats if the virus protection is actually turned off.  Kinda makes you wonder.  I think therefor I am.  I scan therefor I am on. I don' t know.
     My husband threatens to throw my laptop out the window.  It is at least 5 years old and it is pretty banged up.  It won't hold charge and we have to wrap the cord around the computer and keep it tight with just the right amount of tension at just the right angle to get it to charge in the first place.  When the pink light comes on, you must back away carefully, because any movement of the surrounding table, chair or floor in the immediate vicinity of the computer could tank the whole operation.  When the light turns blue, you should have about an hour and a half to work on it, but lately the battery light is not a true representation of how much power actually remains.
     I should be getting a new laptop sometime this year.  I sure do miss being able to write on the computer and not have to sit at a desk at all times.  I don't know how long I have with the desk top computer I am working on now either.  My brother-in-law has raised it from the dead at least once already.  Thanks Bro.
     Here's something to put on my pet peeves tab.  Why is it that as soon as you get used to using a computer program, they have to change it?  It isn't always better to change things.  No matter when I buy my next computer or what model I buy, it will be obsolete the second I leave the store.  In some cases, probably before my credit card has cleared for payment. UGGGHHH!

Open Mic Night...Scary

     I received a bulk invitation, meaning everyone is welcome, to an open mic night.  We are invited to share poetry, prose and music.  I am not a public speaker.  I don't know that I want to be.  Maybe it is because I don't think that I have anything worth sharing, but I think it is more because I don't like to speak in front of groups.  Maybe those are really the same reason.  That makes me think I should go and do it just to break the fear.  Then my fear makes excuses why I don't have time.  Anyway, I think there are enough opportunities to do "open mic,"  I see them all the time.  I think it is something that I need to work up to.
       I think I need a shot of self-esteem.  Does anyone know where I can get one of those?  It is kind of like a money tree I guess.  It takes hard work to get money.  It takes lots of "Just Do It" to earn self-esteem.  Why is it that no matter how much you are praised or complimented for something you just can't see the value in your work or yourself?  Is it that way for everyone?  Those people who get up in front of crowds and sing, dance, speak or play sports, what have they got that I ain't got?  Dorothy, Tin Man and Scarecrow would say, "Courage!"
     Is that something you are born with or something that is cultivated as you grow?  I know that I don't have it, but I don't know why.  I don't remember being discouraged or put down by anyone who really mattered to me.  Everyone is picked on in school to some degree.  You grow up and get over it eventually.  My kids have it, but I don't know where they got it from really.  If it's genetic, then it wasn't from me unless it skipped a generation.  It must be their daddy's fault.  I can usually blame him for most things.  Sometimes, I even blame him for the good stuff.
     Open mic night?  Probably not this time.  I really do have other plans.  It's tonight and I just got the invite this morning.  Maybe I can work myself up for the next one.

Is "enjoying" the right word?

     My posts have been much shorter lately.  Probably because I am very busy.  I am still in Religious Education Mania.  I am coming up with some fun things to help get the students interested.  At least I hope they will think that they are fun.  I just never know.  Things that I think are fun turn out to not really be fun.  Then the things that I fear are too "young" or "immature" they have a blast doing.  I guess that is okay as long as they are learning what they need to learn.  Maybe they enjoy the simplicity of the more child oriented games because they are tired and want to relax a bit.  I can't have them sleeping in class though.  

     Teachers who challenge get more out of their students, but what if the students don't really feel that they need to be there?  It feels like if we try to challenge them too much, they just won't show up.  There has to be an overlap between fun and learning that I can use to get them interested.  

     I went to the Stations of the Cross/Communion Service again last night.  I am really enjoying it.  Well, I don't know if enjoying is the proper word, but I am getting a lot out of it.  Our Deacon's homilies focus on the actual events that took place during the Passion.  It gets very graphic and a little gory, but I think it is necessary for us to really understand what Jesus went through.  The things that we think are problems or annoyances have nothing on what this guy actually went through.  It all seems very neat and clean in the pictures of the stations.  I have a feeling it was anything but clean in real life.  I feel that it is good that we are reminded of this at least once a year.  I wish more people would come to the Stations.  It is really moving.  I think that people would feel very differently about what is going on in their lives if they were reminded of what was given up for them.  Things given up not just by Jesus, but by others who give of their time, talents, and especially lives.  I keep praying that more people will realize how important it is to have faith.  We need to look a little deeper than our everyday lives, all the things that keep us too busy to have a relationship with God.  After all, we only have these lives because of Him.

Getting Healthy

     I joined myfitnesspal.com today.  My childhood best friend hooked me up via facebook post.  I figured why not.  I have lost about 10 pounds since I quit drinking last May.  I am almost to my one year anniversary.  I have been trying to be healthy, but the hectic lifestyle doesn't help.  Myfitnesspal.com tracks your eating and exercise and gives you a huge number of people to bond with.  We can all encourage each other.  Exercise is more fun when you have a partner and a little encouragement.
     I have a break from 1:30 to 3:30 this afternoon, so I thought I 'd take the dog for a walk.  I could use one myself.  It looks beautiful outside and the thermometer says it is at least 40 degrees.  I bet it feels better than that in the sun.  I better charge up my MP3 player, in case the silence is too deafening.  That can happen you know.
  

Remember to Vote!

     Tensions run high on the eve of the spring elections.  I have my own opinions on politics, but it is so hard to  see where candidates really stand.  I am so sick of the ads on TV.  Imagine all the money spent on political advertising going to feed the hungry or house the homeless.  I have a deep scotoma every time a political ad comes on, I just block it out. When I do pay attention I get so frustrated.  You can't tell who is telling the truth, I start to feel like they are all crooks.  By Wednesday there will be the beginning of advertising for candidates for whatever election comes next.  It never ends.  I, for one, will be voting tomorrow.  I hope that you will too.  Remind everyone you know that it is up to them to take the initiative.  If we don't utilize our right to vote, it could be the next thing they take away.

"Hey, this table has a wood grain top!"

     My dining room table is the catch-all at our house.  The mess is mostly mine, but it does contain papers that the girls bring home from school.  Papers that I have to deal with.   Sports, band, dance, school stuff it's all there.  Then after I get through the school stuff, I reach "my stuff."  This category contains a pile of papers that have to do with religious education, decorating committee, writing contests or assignments, half written poems and short stories, receipts, old sections of the Compass (our local Catholic newspaper), coupons that I cut out but never used, junk mail.  Well, you get the point.  If I have ever thought about it, it's in the pile.
     About once a week, I make a well-intentioned attempt to tackle the pile.  First, I start by putting everything into their respective smaller piles.  Second, I throw out anything that is outdated or unnecessary.  Now, it is a more organized mess.  Third, I get distracted by something like my job, my kids coming home, it doesn't take much. Next, I start to make dinner and when I go to set the table I remember that I was "tackling the pile."  The food is almost ready to put on the table, so the smaller piles get stacked into one big pile and pushed off to the end of the table to sit and begin its multiplication process again.
     Sometimes, maybe quarterly, I actually get the whole pile put away.  Anyone within earshot knows that I have completed my mission because they hear something like, "Hey, this table has a wood grain top!"

I was going to write about online scams, but it went in a different direction.

     Every once in a while I look for a "better job."  I do have it pretty good now.  I get to stay home, lounge around eating chocolate and watching soaps all day.  No, not really, I'm kidding.  Seriously, I don't have any gas expenses really.  I don't need a fancy wardrobe or pretty shoes.  They just get spit up on anyway.  I have my weekends off and I'm home when my kids get home from school.  I know that my clients/families appreciate what I do.  When I think of getting another job, I feel bad that I will have to tell them.  I will be doing this for a few more years though, we just bought a new swing set.
     So I try to keep writing and working on my book, hoping that someday the opportunity that I am waiting  for will come up.  The opportunity that will allow me to move on from this to something a little less like diapers, spit up, and the occasional outright vomit.  It would be nice to not work ten hour shifts and be able to go to my children's sporting and other events without ripping apart my entire schedule.  If I take off, I don't get paid.  That's life, I know.
     I looked in the paper yesterday and saw that a new lodge was opening.  It has a hotel, restaurant, banquet hall, etc.  So I thought back to all the time I spent in food service and housekeeping, and all the time I spent doing correspondence courses in Hotel & Restaurant Management and Catering & Gourmet Cooking and Business Management.  The owners of the lodge were advertising a job fair.  They need to hire at every level.  My heart filled up, thinking that this could be my way out.  Then I remembered that we just spent almost a thousand dollars on a swing set for the business.  I also thought about all the gas and the clothes that I would have to spend money on to have a job like the one I would have applied for at the lodge.  Dreams crushed?  I don't know.  I have pretty much moved on from that part of my life.  Still, the mind wanders there from time to time.
     I enjoy my writing and I am comfortable here for now.  I am still looking forward to that opportunity.  It will come.  I will be ready.
    

The Stations of the Cross

     Every Tuesday in Lent, our church prays the Stations of the Cross and has a communion service or Mass afterwards.  I have made it to all of them so far.  The girls have gone twice.  My husband even got there once.  The homilies have been pretty graphic, but the girls handle them pretty well.
     When I hear what Jesus went through, I feel that we are all pretty selfish if we can't even make it to a nice warm, comfortable church for Stations in Lent, let alone a Mass on Sunday.  Giving up meat on Fridays in Lent doesn't seem too hard either.  We Catholics have made that really easy, Friday Fish Fry!  It hardly seems like a hardship to go out for fish every Friday in Lent.  I guess we try to make the best of things.
     I am probably preaching to the choir, but I feel that even those of us who do make a point of getting to church, volunteer and use our God-given time and talents for good, still have a long way to go.  I am blessed with a healthy family and we have two good jobs to help us provide for it.  Still, sometimes I feel that we are way too far from God with our attitudes and our priorities.  I can't imagine what it would be like to never go to church or to pray.  There are many times in a day when I can say, "I got this."  There are also many times in a day when I have to say, "This one is yours big guy."
     I have Religious Education Mania right now.  I am trying to get lesson plans done for next year.  I hope I have this kind of focus when it actually comes time to teach again.   I am alway looking for fun ways to teach this stuff.  Maybe fun isn't even the right word, but I do need something for each lesson that will keep them awake and interested long enough for some of it to sink in.  I am working on a website for the High School RE program.  I am trying to use technology, what little of it I understand, to try to connect to the students.  Wish me luck.

Slow This Thing Down, I Wanna Get Off!

     Did you ever have one of those days where you feel like you are running all day, and then at the end you don't feel as if you have accomplished anything?  Well, that was all last week for me.
     The week started out at turbo speed.  I think I must be misdiagnosed.  I know that I have depression, but I think I can be manic too.  There are times when I can't keep up with my own brain.  My heart pounds as if it is coming out of my chest and the creative juices flow so fast that you can't collect them.  That was Monday and Tuesday.
     Wednesday I caught some weird sort of bug that makes you feel nauseous.  You try to lay there as still as you can trying to fend off the urge to run to the bathroom with the bucket in your hand.  It all started with a killer headache, I was thinking was a migraine.  I usually don't get that nauseous with my migraines.  Wednesday and Thursday were full of that joy.  It really kicked my butt, migraine or not.  I was completely useless.   It was a good thing that the hubby and the kids helped to pick up the slack.
     Friday I woke up feeling better, thank God.  I was still tired, but at least I wasn't wondering where my bucket was at all times.
     Do you remember being on the merry-go-round in the park when you were little?  I remember spinning so fast that things blurred.  That was Saturday and Sunday.
     So here we are on Monday, and it is spring break for the girls.  This week looks as if it will be a little more tame.  I'm glad.

The Importance of Music and Sports

     Wow, what a weekend!  It was a busy one, but I feel good about all the time I spent on good things for my kids.  Solo & Ensemble was great.  My daughter got a first on her oboe solo.  She reminded me that it was only a class C.  I told her that she can pick something in a higher class next year.  She is still in middle school, so she isn't competing for State anyway.  Her tutor, a high school senior, got a few starred firsts.  That means he's going to State.  We got to watch him play his English Horn solo, she's right, he is amazing.  I love to see her so excited about music.  She's determined to play the English Horn too.  I told her that it is a logical progression.
     We also worked concessions for a camping and outdoor show at Quietwoods RV Sales and Service, to raise money for the softball team.  The shift we had was slow, but we had a good time anyway.  Then Sunday afternoon was softball practice for my younger daughter.  She seems to enjoy it.  We are off to buy a batting helmet and a bat.  Boy, sports and music are expensive.  The girls are worth it.  They are well rounded and will probably never be able to take a side in the sports/music debate.
     I had an interesting conversation with one of the Solo & Ensemble judges.  We were discussing the importance of music and sports.  They are both team events for the most part.  They both require learning and practicing.  Timing is very important as well.  At our school, the students do find ways to participate in music and sports, but I don't think that is the case everywhere.  They are both extremely important parts of a good education.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

     I used to have a St. Patrick prayer card floating around in here.  He would stare at me while I typed.  I wanted to share the prayer that was on it.  It is called St. Patrick's Breastplate.  I shared it with my Religious Education students last year around this time.
     Instead, I give you an Irish Blessing:  May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back.  May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields.  And until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow of his hand.  God Bless.

    

No Enchanted Conversations For Me

     I heard, over the weekend, that Enchanted Conversations will not be using my Rumpelstiltskin poem in this issue.  I am okay with it, now I can enter it in a poetry contest.  I have read stories about how even some of the most well known writers received hundreds of refusals before finally being published.  Bring it on, let's get that part out of the way.  I still can't wait to see what 10 pieces they are using.  I'll have to wait until the 20th, that's the day this issue should be ready.
     I have already started working on the Snow White Poem for the next issue.  Published or not, I'm having fun. Having a subject and a deadline can be very motivating.  I am still working at my 'poem a week' experiment, and I'm still a little behind schedule.  April is coming, I wonder if the Starving Writer will be having a poetry contest again for National Poetry Month.  I guess I need to get through March first.  I had a lot of fun doing that last year, probably because I wasn't focused on winning.  I think I'll try to do it again this year, just for fun.  Laura from The Starving Writer suggested that I put a picture of myself with my poetry book on this site.  That was a few months ago.  I haven't gotten to it yet, but one of these days when I actually put on make-up and do my hair, maybe I'll remember to have some take a picture for me.  It all comes from procrastinating too much.
    

Mom, He Has Ashes Too!

     Wow, am I a slacker.  Ash Wednesday was last week.  Oh well.  We all went to church on Ash Wednesday.  I love watching the little kids as they watch the priest put ashes on our foreheads.  They have such looks on their faces.  I would love to know what they are thinking.
     When we got home from church, we checked the basketball scores on ESPN, I think, and there was a sportscaster sitting there at the desk with an ashen cross on his forehead.  This struck me as odd and cool.  First, odd, because I have never seen anyone on TV with ashes on their foreheads.  Maybe I've never watched TV on Ash Wednesday, I don't know.  The girls noticed it too, and one of them pointed it out, just as I noticed it.  Second, cool, because TV is all about image and beauty and make-up, yes even on the male sportscasters.  I wish I knew who the guy was, because I would like to thank him for showing his true colors.  What a good role model for those who are Catholics or some other denomination of Christian and have a hard time showing it.  We could use a few more role models like him.  The way some people hide their religion, you wonder if they think they'd be stoned if anyone knew they believed in something.
     It seems that the media is always looking for dirt, I'm glad that our favorites celebs don't give them any to find.  We really love NBA Cares and all the positive things that the Packers and other NFL teams are doing as well.
     I want to give a big thank you to those sport and other high profile personalities who make it known that they believe in God.  I love that you realize that your talent is God given and that you aren't afraid to thank him  for it.  Thank you for keeping your noses clean and being positive role models for our children.
    

Ash Wedensday

     Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent.  We have mass at 6:15 pm, and I hope to see my religious education students there tonight.  We are getting hit with a snow storm right now, and should get a couple inches of accumulation. Hopefully that doesn't deter people from going to church. I really have had enough of winter and I hope that this is the last snow we get.
     I ordered religious education textbooks for the girls yesterday.  I have been teaching them at home as opposed to them going to class at church on Wednesday night.  I am a teacher, so I figured that I could just teach them at home.  It is actually cheaper for me to by the books than it is for me to send both of them to classes.  I have to admit it is hard to keep a consistently scheduled time to have our classes, but I believe that the way we live is as much of a lesson as going to class.  The kids should be learning at least that much at home anyway.  We are focusing on the classes during the summer.  The girls have so much going on during the school year.  We do have good discussions sometimes after mass, and the girls do ask good questions.  Sometimes they surprise me with what they have picked up.
     We have decided to pray a few Rosaries together as a family throughout Lent.  Our church also prays the Stations of the Cross with a Communion service to follow every Tuesday in Lent.  We will be attending those as well.
     There is a lot of talk about what should be given up for Lent.  I always have a hard time trying to pick something.  My daughters are giving up sweets for Lent, I don't eat a whole lot of sweets to begin with.  My husband is going on a diet, trying to cut back on everything.  We are supposed to be fasting, so I guess he's on the right track.  I quit smoking and drinking, and I'm not giving up my one or two diet cokes a day. Maybe I could give up that silly game on my phone that I waste so much time and battery on.  Okay, I can do that.  Imagine all the other stuff I can get done.  Maybe I'll say a Hail Mary every time I think about playing that game, then I'd get some extra prayers in too.

Fat Tuesday

     Today is Fat Tuesday or Mardi Gras as they like to call it in the South, and in France, I would imagine.  So today is the day that we act like gluttonous monsters so that we can fast for Lent.  Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, we have mass at 6:15.  School is still having Jazz Band practice and regularly scheduled Wednesday meetings, and probably lots of other things that I am not involved with.  It is too bad that we cannot schedule around Ash Wednesday.  The schools used to know that Wednesday was Religious Education night.  They didn't schedule extracurriculars on Wednesdays, but I guess we have come so far away from God that we just don't care anymore.  They all love getting off of school for Good Friday and Christmas Eve, but where are they the rest of the year?
     I love all the opportunities that my kids have at school, but enough is enough.  My daughter, who loves math, decided not to be on the Math Team this year.  She said that she needed a break.  She scored higher than 92 percent of the 7th graders in the state on her WKCE test.  I am sure the Math Team would have loved to have her, but I understand why she didn't do it.  You can only be in so many places at once.  She is working very hard this month on her Solo and Ensemble pieces.  She is doing a solo on the oboe, a woodwind trio piece with a flute and clarinet, again she is the oboe, and she is doing a oboe and flute quartet (three flutes and herself).  She is also performing with the Jazz band, playing the clarinet.  It is perfect timing, between basketball and track.  Solo and Ensemble at our school is on Saturday, March 19, so she has two weeks left to practice.  She put on a little concert for us last night.  She is sounding great.  She has a high school senior tutoring her on the oboe.  She has another lesson today.  He is going to UW Eau Claire, I think, for music.  He is going to need teaching hours, so he is teaching my daughter and another oboe player from eighth grade.  He is an amazing musician, we are lucky to have him.  Last week, they broke down her music to show her where and how to breath.  That is a huge help.  He told her it would take time to get used to it, but it would come with practice.  I wonder what she'll learn today.

Poetry Experiment Not A Failure Yet

     I haven't exactly been keeping up with my 'poem a week' experiment.  I am probably about three weeks behind. I did write the Rumpelstiltskin poem and a poem about the quilt popped into my head at about 11:30 one night.  I stayed up for an hour to get it out of my head.  I figured that I wouldn't sleep until I got it out anyway.  My mom calls it 'monkey mind,'  I prefer 'monkey brain.'  There's another one for my 'glossary' tab.  Monkey brain is when you are trying to sleep and your brain has a tornado of ideas blowing around (or just one really big one), and you won't sleep until they are out.   If you do sleep, you risk losing all those ideas by morning.  I have also started that poem about Snow White for the next issue of Enchanted Conversation.  I haven't heard anything yet, about Rumpelstiltskin, but they have a lot of reading to do.
     I have been thinking a lot about how to approach the quilt book.  I could write a short story about each quilter.  It might be called a work of semi-fiction.  Using whatever information I am able to collect, I could write a story that tries to capture the personality of each quilter.  I was thinking about a chapter for each quilter, but I don't want to just spew out their birth dates and other vitals.  I am receiving wonderful stories and may be able to re-tell some of them.  Maybe the urge to write poetry will strike, that does happen to me from time to time.  The book should have structure, but at these early stages, I am open to all sorts of creative avenues.  If each quilter has their own chapter, maybe each chapter can contain different features.  I guess it all depends on what information I am able to collect.  I am hoping to have pictures of each quilter, past and closer to present.  I would like to incorporate the quilt as much as possible, into the stories.  This may be difficult, since none of the families had ever heard of the quilt, until now.  It is possible that there may still be quilters who are alive and ready to share.  I sure hope so.

Missoula Week

     My younger daughter is participating in Missoula this week.  It is amazing what that group can do in just a week.  Actually, they had less than a week.  Usually there are two performances on Saturday.  This year they are performing this afternoon, for the 4K-5 graders, and then on Saturday evening, for the public.  My daughter is playing a fairy in a very interesting version of Sleeping Beauty.  I can't wait to see the whole thing.  She is enjoying herself very much, but it is a long week.  I am glad that the teachers did not decide to pile on the homework.  It amazes me, how comfortable she is on stage.  My other daughter would prefer to be in the pit, and I would be scared to death to even try it.  They are amazing girls, and I am glad that they aren't afraid to succeed.  They don't seem to have a problem trying new things and they don't shy away from anything unless it is because they just aren't interested.
     Softball and track are the new sports this year.  I am not a big fan of baseball, but I do enjoy watching kids play.  I like that it keeps them active.  I understand baseball, basketball and even soccer, but I was never involved in track.  It will be a new adventure.

I Am Not Worthy

     I am feeling today, like if I don't have something worth writing about, I shouldn't write today.  Who gets to decide if what I'm writing is or isn't worthy of being written.  I guess that would have to be me.
     We are getting ready to wrap up our year for Religious Education.  We have Ash Wednesday Mass and one class left.  Well, really we have two classes left, but one of them is more like a fun night.  We are going to play review games and have pizza.  I think it will be fun.
     Next year I think I may be teaching alone.  The couple who have been helping have decided that this was to be their last year.  We are supposed to have about twenty-four students.  Lately, we have had only 6 to 7 attending class.  I should be able to handle that myself.  I think that part of our attendance issue has to do with the forming of our Youth  Ministry group.  The students were given the choice between coming to class or joining the youth ministry.  We lost eight to ten people because of that choice.  I have nothing against the Youth Ministry, in fact I helped get it started, and I really do like our Youth Minister too.  We have worked very hard to recreate the high school religious ed. program.  It was formerly taught by our pastor, who kept everything in his head.  When he became ill and suddenly had to retire, we scrambled through bumpy roads trying to create a curriculum.  We incorporated our youth ministry training and we try to make the classes interesting and fun.  Some topics are pretty dry, they are hard to make fun, but we try our darnedest.  We have a great textbook, it has six chapters.  We cover two chapters a year.  We are just finishing the second year.  So, our juniors will not have had the entire book, but they have learned a couple of things I hope.
     Next year I get to teach the sacraments.  I am kind of excited.  I am frustrated though, when we show up all ready to teach a class and only 6 students show up.  Those kids deserve a class, but I am not sure they want one.  They would love to just be sent home, but they stay and stare off into nowhere.  I think the cooperation is getting better, they seem to be getting used to me and I am much more calm, less nervous.  Every class is an adventure.  Every class is a new challenge to get them to open up.  I am excited about teaching, but I also get frustrated with the attendance.  I really do appreciate those who do come to class and participate.  They definitely keep me on my toes.

Hello Monday

    It is Monday again.  No, I'm not surprised, Monday is very predictable.  It always comes after Sunday, and is the official end of the weekend.  Not many people look forward to Monday.  I hope Monday is not offended.  Sorry, Monday, we just don't like you.
     Last week, I submitted a poem to a new online magazine all about fairy tales.  The magazine is called Enchanted Conversation, and can be found at enchantedconversation.com.  Each issue is themed, and the first one is all about Rumpelstiltskin.  They encourage the creative retelling of classic fairy tales.  Using an alternate character as a main character is one type of story that could be submitted.  I opted for poetry, sometimes a thing just hits you and you have to go with it.  They are only accepting 10 pieces to publish.  I wrote the poem specifically for this, but I don't mind using it elsewhere if they don't accept it.  I just visited the site, and they have 150 submission to read.  So, if I'm doing the math correctly, my poem has a 1 in 15 chance of being accepted for publication.  I can live with those odds.  The next issue will be about Snow White, and they are only accepting poetry this time.  The Snow White submissions are due May 11-14.  I hope that I don't procrastinate too long, but it really seems like a long way off.  Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to work I go!

The Zone Buster

     There is a lot of fear in people's voices as they talk about the economy.  It seems that it will get worse before it gets better.  Everyone seems to have an opinion on how the economy should be fixed.  Still, here we are.
     That is all I have for fear today.  I would like to brag about my daughter.  We went to her basketball game last night, and she was awesome.  She got to play point guard for more than half of the game, and made two three pointers and two outside shots for two points each.  She did such good job of looking for open people, and spreading the ball around to everyone.  We really got to see what the "non-starters" had to offer.  I especially like the way she communicates with her teammates.  She has a really cool way of letting people know where they belong and what needs to happen, and she isn't bossy about it either.  This surprises me because I remember her at 4 years old.  She could really boss a kid around.  I don't remember what we did to break the bossy, but it worked.  I think in basketball she has learned how she would like to be treated, given a chance, and wants to be sure others have theirs too.  I guess that's what happens when you work your butt off and have a lot of time to watch from the bench.  For the longest time, it seemed like, even when she got to play, she wasn't playing.  The ball just never got to her.  She's gotten very good at going to get the ball herself, instead of waiting, and I think in her last couple of games she's earned a little respect that has been long overdue. I think she may have gotten a nickname out of it too.  The Zone Buster.  I am very proud, can you tell.

Is There Anybody Out There?

     I have that, "is there anybody out there?" feeling today.  I haven't had to leave the house in four days, which I like.  My only contact with the outside world is when people stop in and whatever I find on the computer.  I have been working on a book which requires a lot of research, and I'm extremely frustrated with the amount of information I can't get on the internet.
     Everything says it's free until you go to the site, and then you need to buy a membership to see anything.  That should be illegal. I just want to know if any of these ladies are still alive. They are in their nineties, and it seems that I have just missed some of them by a couple of years or less.  Anyway, I got a letter from a family member of one of the ladies I am writing about. It was like Christmas.  I hope that I am able to get good information about all the other ladies too.  I have realized that this is going to be a very emotional journey.  I hope that I am able to represent these ladies in a way that makes their loved ones proud.  That is one of my goals. It would be wonderful to get a first hand accounting of the events surrounding the quilt from one of the ladies who was in on the making of it.  I had a dream last night that I got great information about the ladies, but none of the sources had ever heard of the quilt.  I guess that is a possible outcome, but I hope not.  
     I will be updating that site today too.  I haven't been able to do much with either site lately. I've been fighting one really bad cold.  Hopefully I'm on the upswing, and my energy will return.  I will also be getting out of the house this afternoon.  My oldest has a basketball game.  Go Eagles!  Then I would like to go to a meeting with a group that is trying to start a school garden.  My schedule has not cooperated until now, but tonight is looking good.

The Power of Positive Thinking

     I had a post all ready for yesterday and I ditched it.  It was about the budget repair bill and all the excitement it is causing.  I felt that it was too opinionated and a little too angry and/or negative.  I want this to be a positive place.  A place where I can practice my writing, but still be fair and positive.  That seems to be harder than it sounds, some days anyway.  Most days I do remain very positive. I am a problem solver and I think you have to be positive to be good at it.  Without a positive attitude where would we be?  Negative attitudes infect everyone they touch. They are like a virus.
     Not long ago, I was reading a friend's blog.  He was writing about the fact that he might change the name of his book to make it sound more positive.  It reminded me of a teacher I had in college who taught us how to be positive.  She said that your brain does the last thing it hears.  For instance, if you say "Don't forget your mittens,"  what will be heard is "forget your mittens."  If you say, "remember your mittens," what will be heard is "remember your mittens."  Sounds pretty simple doesn't it?  Ever since that lesson I really notice negativity in behavior and in writing.  When you see a memo, it often says something like, "Don't forget about the board meeting..."  It would be better to write "Remember the board meeting..."  I guess it isn't a lesson that everyone is lucky enough to learn.
     It seems that every time there is a movement it seems to be negative.  There are signs that say "kill this" or  "No"  to that.  There always seems to be a sign with a big red circle with a slash mark through it covering whatever it is that "we" don't want.  I wonder how it would be if during a protest the word "no" was off limits.  If there were only positive attitudes allowed, would it change anything?  Maybe if we all had positive attitudes a protest wouldn't be necessary. With all the emphasis that the child care industry puts on positive reinforcement, why is it that we never have a gathering that says, "Hey, you are doing a great job, keep it up!"           It also seems, that sometimes, the people who are protesting haven't been paying attention for quite a while and all of a sudden realize how out of control a situation seems.  We elect people to do a job and then we let them do it.  We become complacent until one of "our rights" is in jeopardy.  "Rights" is a highly charged word, isn't it?  I hear a lot about "our" rights being violated.  It seems to me that with all the well educated minds we have around here (70,000 in Madison on Thursday) we could come up with something better than a protest.  Maybe all those talented minds could get together and come up with a solution that upheld everyone's rights.  And maybe, just maybe if "we" could all stop yelling and trying to be louder than our opponent, we could come up with another option to offer, like an option that doesn't include negativity.  Anybody ever hear the statement, "United we stand, divided we fall?"  Maybe it is time we start working together, before there is nothing left to work for.

My New Phone 2

    I was just sitting here typing away, and my text box went blank.  Good thing I hadn't written too much yet.  What I was trying to type, before I was so rudely interrupted, was that I got a new phone.  No joke!  If you read my blog about a week ago, you read that I was joking about a new phone.  The one I had was a step up from the bag phone, and I mean one step up.  We got a really good deal and my line was eligible for update anyway.  So, when the stars align you take advantage of it.
     I really love my new phone.  Of course, it is such a big jump as far as the level of technology goes, I feel like I need to go back to school to learn how to use it.  It's a good thing that I have pre-teen kids.  Did you know there really is an app for just about everything?  Wow!
     I am able to check my email, facebook, twitter and my blogs.  I've created my own radio station, played games, learned how to text, and it even has GPS.  Oh, and guess what, I can actually make calls on it too. Amazing!
     I have noticed that I need to learn a new language.  The language that people use to text has very few vowels and almost seems like code. My kids are pretty good at it, so I am sure I'll catch on soon.  I don't really do a whole lot of texting.  I'm usually home and the phone is off.  I will probably remember to turn this one on more often.  It is too cool to forget about.

A Day Off

     Yesterday, I took a day off.  I don't know why I call it that, because it isn't off.  It is running around trying to do all the things that I can't do when I'm working.  None of those things are things that I would like to be doing.  For instance, yesterday I drove 70 miles round trip for an appointment that took less than 5 minutes, where the doctor asked me how I felt and told me that if I had any trouble I should call him.  I could have called him to tell him that I wasn't having any trouble.  Then I came home, got my banking ready, and went to the bank.  Big deal right?  Well, for me it is.  Our local bank changed its hours to 9-4 Monday through Thursday and 9-5 on Friday.  I work 6:30 am to 4:30 pm Monday through Friday. It is a good thing that I have a family member who will go to the bank for me during the week.
     After the bank, I went to school to pick up my girls.  We went to the orthodontist and the dentist,  which means that I had to make almost the exact same 70 mile trip in the afternoon as I did in the morning.  Have you seen the price of gas lately?  Oh well, at least I didn't have to take another whole day off to go to that five minute appointment.  Find the positive, right?
     What would I do if I had an actual day off?  I mean the kind of day that is supposed to be fun.  The kind of day that you meet your friend for lunch and talk all afternoon.  I have no idea.  I've had to take off mostly for emergency or doctor's appointments at least once a month lately.  I am afraid to schedule an actual day off to do something fun, because I'm afraid the next day I'll come down with something and have to take off again.
     One good thing about yesterday is that I don't have to go to the dentist for six months, the orthodontist for nine months or the oral surgeon for a year.  Yay!  It also looks like the only thing that we have going on this weekend is dance.  So now what are we going to do?  I am sure we will think of something.

 thefriendshipquiltinformationsite.com is up and running.  There is a link to the right. I've added some pictures, and there are more to come.
    

Happy Valentine's Day

     Happy Valentine's Day everyone!  I think I'm going to start a pet peeves tab/page on this blog.  I know I said I'd try to stay positive, but some things really get to me.  One of the things that always makes me cringe is when someone wishes me a Happy Valentime's Day.  You can't see it, but there is a squiggly red line under the word 'Valentime's.'  Oh, there it is again. Do you know why?  Of course you do.  It is because there is no 'm' in the word 'Valentine.'
     Okay, now that I got that off my chest, let's get on with spreading the love.  I posted on my facebook page today that I wanted everyone to do something nice and unexpected for someone they love today.  Then I asked everyone to do something nice and unexpected for someone they didn't love.  I wanted to see how much love we could spread.  Of course, I'll never know if anyone actually does anything I ask them to on facebook.  People I see in my everyday life hardly ever do what I ask either.  It's the thought that counts.
     It is so easy to do nice things for people we love, isn't it?  Maybe Valentine's Day should be more about those we don't especially love.  Think of someone you don't really appreciate or someone you just can't stand.  Now, think of something nice you could do for them.  It really won't hurt.  It will probably only take a of couple minutes, and you don't have to identify yourself.
     I think there is a group that does "random acts of kindness,"  and that is great.  They are random and you don't have to know who you are helping.  I think it is easier to do something nice for someone you don't know than someone you know and don't like.  What I am proposing today is specific, not random.  Pick that person at work that you have never seen eye to eye with, or that lady at the bank who can't ever smile and always make you feel like helping you is a chore. How about an in-law that you do not get along with no matter how much you try.  Hey, it's only one day out of the year.  You can go back to hating them tomorrow.

Exciting news:  I am writing a book.  I have started a web site to chronicle the process and to help collect information.  Visit and revisit.  I will be adding more pictures.  I'll add the link in my favorite links section.                                 thefriendshipquiltinformationsite.blogspot.com

Growing Up on Scary Movies

     It's Phriday!  Wow, what a week.  On Phriday, I write about things that scare me.  When I was a kid, I could watch any movie and not be scared.  In fact, I loved scary movies.  I remember half hiding behind my dad's chair while we watched the Exorcist.  I didn't really do a whole lot of hiding though.  I loved the Amityville movies and Jason, Freddy and Michael.  Poltergeist was another favorite too. One movie that must have scared me was E.T. the Extra Terrestrial.  I don't remember being scared in the theater, but I was afraid of the pile of stuffed animals that were on the shelf of my open closet that night.  I don't know if it is getting older or becoming a parent, but some of the movies I've seen lately are really scary.  No one else in the family likes scary movies, so I have to watch them by myself.  That makes them even scarier.
   People talk about how all the violence on TV desensitizes our children.  Well, my older daughter was afraid of the Disney villains, even the step-mother on Cinderella.  All those great movies and I couldn't even watch them with my kids.  She has no problem with Harry Potter, except neither of the girls like the scene in Year 4 when Voldermort is reborn.  I think it is one of the coolest scenes, so far.  There is one more movie to watch, and I can't wait.  I am not scared of Harry Potter movies, but I did cry when Bellatrix killed Dobby.
     My brother lent me some scary movies.  He has quite the collection.  I think the Ring was really scary, and I'm wondering now if that was the one I couldn't finish.  Afterwards I was so disappointed in myself.  I had never been afraid of movies before.  I must have grown up and lost that immortal feeling somewhere, that invincible feeling. I thought that I must be getting soft in my old age.  I don't really feel that old though. I still love a good thriller/mystery, the ones that keep you guessing up until the very end.  I love Hitchcock movies too.  There's just something about them, and my daughters will watch them with me.  Oh, and what writer could talk about scary movies and not refer to this at some point.
     "All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy.  All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy. All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy." (from Stephen King's the Shining)  Think about this.  Someone had to type an entire manuscript in those words as a prop for that movie.  Wow!

Sharing Great Ideas

     This is one of those days when we hurry up to get to one event and then hope we are not late for the next one.  We stay up late doing homework afterwards, and hope we get enough sleep to get through tomorrow.  Good thing tomorrow is Phriday, that means the weekend is coming.  This weekend will be tame, only dance and ACTs and church and a possible four hour drive, round trip, to my brother's house.  I forgot to RSVP to a second cousin's wedding or we would be going to that too.  Overall though, we might actually get some rest.
     When we are doing all that running and rushing about, we forget something. We forget that we are able to do it.  We often take for granted that we don't need to find the handicapped parking space, entrance or bathrooms. We take for granted that our kids are able to play basketball or dance.  I am blessed and thankful for it.  I do get a little flustered when I get busy, but I do remember to thank The Big Guy for what I have.
     I don't know what I'd do if I wasn't busy. I seem to get more done when I'm busy than when I have extra time.  Not that I have extra time very often.  I was writing yesterday about wanting more time for projects.  I love to come up with ideas and work through problems.  Finding a solution that benefits everyone always feels good.  I was reading C. Hope Clark's Blog, (see my favorite links) and she mentioned going to a really cool event.  She is great at sharing good ideas and connecting people.
     The event she attended was a Mixer/Swap Meet.  The admission fee was two books.  After mingling, networking, and checking out the books, each person takes one book home.  The extra books are donated to a 'friends of the library' organization.  I just love this!  These are the kinds of "fundraiser" type events that I would love to be involved in, if I had the time.  Everybody wins and it isn't one of those events where they just ask for money everywhere you turn.  So I forwarded the idea to the local library and the middle school principal.  He loved it too.  He asked me to present the idea at a meeting.  Unfortunately, the meeting is on Ash Wednesday and I'll be at church.  Maybe it will be rescheduled if others in the group want to go to church too, or he will have to present it.  Either way the idea will get spread around and it will benefit someone along the way.  Hey Hope, thanks for sharing.
  
  

If There Were Ten More Hours in a Day

     If there were ten more hours in a day, we'd find a way to fill those too.  We probably wouldn't fill them with sleep either.  There are so many things that I would like to be doing.  So many projects that I would love to work on, really quality projects.
     We prioritize our lives, try to put everything into neat little categories.  Between the two of us there are 100 hours of work per week.  The girls are in school or on the bus to and from for the same amount.  Then there's basketball, dance, band, acting in children's theater, home work, showers and making lunches.  That doesn't even count making and eating dinner, which we still try to do together.  Sometimes we don't eat until 7:30 pm, but we do eat together, as a family, as many nights a week as we can.  We only have two kids.  I don't think we could afford any more.  I'm not talking about money, although there's that too.  I mean the time and emotional investment.  It is definitely worth it, but you start to wonder how much more you could possibly take on some days.  We are happy, healthy and active.  Thank God.
     What would you do with ten more hours, assuming that you didn't need more sleep in order to have the energy to use them?  I would write more.  I have short stories, poems, and plans for a book.  They sit stewing, waiting for me to finally get to them.  I find time, somehow, to write this blog everyday.  I'm not sure how.  I know that I need to get to work on my column.  It is due at noon tomorrow, and I haven't started yet.  I have all the information.  I just need to get it put together.
     I don't remember feeling the need for more time when I was in elementary or middle school.  I know that my daughters do.  It makes me wonder if we are pushing them too hard.  They both play basketball, get really good grades and have other things going on like band, dance, math meets and hunting.  We are very proud of them.  Their interests are theirs.  We didn't necessarily choose them, other than giving them the opportunity to try new things.  They decide what they are going to work at.  Of course, grades must come before extra-curriculars, but I don't think that the girls look at them as "extra."  They are just part of their lives.  They seem to push themselves harder than we could ever push them.
     I think that if I had more time, I would probably try to get more exercise.  I would like to say that I'd follow through on that, but I know myself too well.  I guess if I had more time, I probably would get to it a little more often.  My husband would spend more time fishing and hunting.  I think the girls might just sit and watch a little TV.  They have so little down time, they might have to use the extra for sleep, or at least rest.
     If I had more time, I would volunteer at school, and help with the new school garden that a group is writing a grant to start.  I would help my younger daughter's class with the big show they are going to do next year.  I shouldn't, but do, envy all those parents who have time to help.  Most of it is during the day.  When you work from 6:30am until 4:30pm, you sort of miss out on that.
     I doubt that the cosmic "they" are going to add anymore time to the day.  So, for now, I'll just have to remember how good I am at time management, and really work the 24 hours that I have.

My New Phone

     Over the weekend, we got a postcard in the mail.  It was from Cellcom, and it was promoting some "buy a new phone for 1/2 price" deal.  I picked it up and showed it to my daughter "look what Dad  is getting me for Valentine's Day," I said jokingly.  I went on to ask her which one I should get.  Who better to ask about electronics than my twelve year old daughter?  I was kidding about the phone, but it got me thinking that I have no idea which phone I would want even if I was getting one, and I'm pretty sure that I'm not.  I don't even know how to text.  I could check my Facebook, blog and twitter though.

     I started researching phones, just to see what they could do.  I decided that when I do get a new phone, I would actually know what I want it to do, and maybe I'll even know which one I want.  While researching, I noticed the comment sections of some pages.  The comments were written as if the writers had tried every phone out there.  They like it, they hate it, whatever, but they sure had experience with quite a few models.

     Some people seem to have a new phone every week.  I pay the bills on our phones and I don't know how we could afford a more expensive phone and texting, etc.  Where do people get all this money.  Aren't we supposed to be having a recession?  

     My daughter has hinted at wanting a phone, but hasn't pressed the issue.  A friend of hers was calling herself a loser because she didn't have a phone of her own.  I told that friend that my daughter was a loser too and was going to remain that way for a long time.  It was then revealed that not "everybody" had a phone of their own.  There were still a couple losers in the group who didn't have phones.  That was fixed as of Christmas morning.  Our daughter is still a loser, but we still love her.  I think her friends still like her too.  I bet they would like her more if she had a phone though.  Ha Ha! 

     So, I still don't know what kind of phone I want.  That's okay though because I really don't need one.  I think I'd rather go out for dinner and a movie for Valentine's Day anyway, which, now that I think of it, will probably cost more than a new phone.

     

Super Bowl XLV

     The Packers won the Super Bowl last night.  What a great game. I have no fingernails left and I have a stress headache.  I am not really complaining, but I do wonder why they always play every game down to the last seconds. I am so proud to be a Packer fan.  I have heard that most of Green Bay is shut down today.  The buses will bring the players and the trophy home this afternoon.  Fans will line the snow filled streets to get a glimpse and to remind the Packers, again, what wonderful fans they have.  We have great players, not just on the field, but in everyday life.  They start foundations, they stay and sign autographs, and even write children's books.  They are just really good people.
     One of the cool things about the Packers going to the Super Bowl is that you get to see clips from the Glory Years.  You can fit a lot of history into two weeks.  You also start receiving emails and seeing videos about how the players make a difference.  Aaron Rodgers stepped up, not only on the field, but in the world as well.  The back-up quarterback who had to watch his predecessor set every record in the books, waited patiently and worked hard.  Since he has become our quarterback, he has proven that patience and hard work really do pay off.  He has conducted himself admirably on and off the field.  While half the Packer fans condemned his mentor and the other half tried to hold tight to the wonderful memories, Aaron realized that each player brings something special to the team (while they are part of it) and now it was his turn to shine.  No more would he have to linger in the shadow, and he was ready.  I never heard him say a single word against our former quarterback, and I don't believe I ever will.  Aaron Rodgers is a class act, and the entire team has done such a good job staying positive even when it looked like they weren't even going to make it to the playoffs.  They never gave up.
     There are lessons to be learned here.  Lessons on the value of patience, hard work, perseverance, and team work.  When all these things come together, wonderful things happen.  Winning the Super Bowl means you finally got it right.  I hope that the Packers can ride this out for a few years.  It sure would be nice to keep the Lombardi Trophy at home, where it belongs.  Way to go Packers, we just knew you had it in you!
     As sort of a post script, I would like to say that I have worn my Donald Driver #80 jersey for every game this year.  I am so glad that Driver is getting that ring.  I do feel bad that he had to watch most of the game from the sidelines.  He is another class act.  We have been so blessed to have such a great man on our team for so long.  Thanks for the memories Double D.  Heal fast, we can't wait to watch you play again next year.

Mom, aren't you afraid of heights?

     Now that I wrote yesterday's post, I guess I should write one for today.  It's Phriday again, that means we get to delve into the fears of the author.
     A few years ago, we took the girls to Wisconsin Dells.  We went to Mount Olympus Water Park.  It was a lot of fun.  I was walking up the stairs to get on this monster roller coaster, when my daughter looks up at me and says, "Mom, aren't you afraid of heights?"  "Yes," I answered.  She smiled and we kept walking up the stairs.  We get into the seat and my knees touch the seat in front of me.  I am 5'10" and if my knees are touching, my brothers could never fit in these seats.  Anyway, we buckle in and away we go.  A soon as we leave the platform there is a huge drop, almost straight down.  You go down ways and up ways and side ways and slant ways until you have no idea where you left your stomach, then you start to climb, slowly.  This gives you time to realize how crazy you really are to be sitting on a roller coaster with your daughter who was just tall enough to go on the ride, within an inch.  Things like, "I am the worst mother in the world," flash through your brain.  I look over at my daughter and she looks at me.  We both have that "OMG!" look on our faces and then we realize how high up we really are.  The next step in our journey is looking pretty vertical and it takes us under ground.  We are in complete darkness, all you hear is the roaring of the motors and the screaming of the riders.  You come out in the parking lot and realize that you are going to have to go back through that tunnel.  When I got off that roller coaster, called Hades, my legs were jello and I was so white, I probably looked transparent. While standing there waiting for my stomach to catch up, my daughter looks up at me and says, "That was AWESOME, can we go again?"  She is fearless.            
     That was the first year we went to Wisconsin Dells, my younger daughter was and inch to short to go on Hades, that year.  She stayed on the ground with dad and cried.  We went again the next year and she was tall enough.  I went on Hades again. What was I thinking?  It was awesome the second time too.  The only problem is, when your daughter goes on the coolest coaster first, everything else pales in comparison.

Caramel Corn and the Sound of Music

     I had to take a detour during my blog time yesterday.  We have a basketball tournament at our school this weekend, and I decided to make caramel corn for the concession stand to sell.  My daughter, who had stayed home sick, was finally feeling well enough to sit upright.  She wasn't ready to focus on anything small, like reading or the computer screen, so I said she could watch a movie.  She has been on a Sound of Music kick lately.  This is one of my all time favorite movies.  I probably know every word of dialog and every lyric to every song.  So does she.  So, I'm in the kitchen stirring the caramel mixture on the stove and I catch myself singing along.  I smile and keep singing.  What made me smile more than how much I love those songs, is that I have an awful singing voice.  My family doesn't seem to mind too much, unless I start to drown out the actual performer.
     I don't know if I can pick out a favorite song from that movie.  It's kind of like the Wizard of Oz, another favorite, each song gives you a different feeling, and they are all great songs.  My kids don't like the Wizard of Oz, they are afraid of the wicked witch or the flying monkeys, or both.  As far back as I can remember, that movie was on once a year.  I think it was in the spring.  We had to wait all year to see it.  We couldn't buy it or rent it.  When it was finally on, you sat down and you enjoyed it.  I feel that way about the Charlie Brown holiday shows and the Christmas shows too.  You only got to see Frosty the Snowman once.  If you missed it, you waited until next year.  Now we have those shows on video.  You can watch them in June if you want to.  I wonder if this generation will appreciate those things like we did?  I am sure my parents wondered if I would appreciate color tv, or just take it for granted.  I appreciate it.  I also like the black and white stuff too. The old Twilight Zones and Hitchcock Presents, among other things, they were black and white. I used to love watching Hitchcock Presents and Ray Bradbury Theater with my dad.  They were on in the evening, a half hour episode of one and then a half hour of the other.  Good Times.
     My daughter is feeling better today, she went to school.  I guess I will have to pick the movie myself.  I think I'll go for the Wizard of Oz.  I can sing along while I make puppy chow for the concession stand to sell at the tournament tomorrow.  I am adding a recipe page, I'll put the puppy chow and caramel corn recipes on there.  I am hoping to get to it today.  It depends on how long it takes me to make the puppy chow.

How Far We've Come

     The schools in our district are really great schools.  We are a small district, but we have some great technology. There are smartboards in every classroom.  Those things are amazing.  They can do so many things that the teachers wish they had more training and time to utilize them fully.  The technology is so advanced, it blows me away.  When I was in 8th grade, we had Commodore 64 computers.  Anyone remember those?  That was back in the 80s when we had Pong on Atari and Space Invaders and Pac-man had just come out.
     I was listening to NPR yesterday and realized that it was 25 years ago that I watched the first playback of the Challenger Shuttle exploding.  We were in some other class and we heard screams coming from the next room.  They were having social studies class and got to watch the launch.  I remember being upset that our class wasn't going to get to see it.  I also remember our teacher running from the room to see what was going on.  He then called us over.  We saw the first playback, and stood frozen while it was repeated, and repeated.  This shuttle had a teacher aboard.  It was really a very big deal.  She had gone through all the training and was smiling and waving as she boarded the shuttle.  She had no idea that her life was about to end.  She died happy and excited though. I don't think that they had any warning, no idea that there was even a problem. I don't feel old enough to remember things that happened a quarter of a century ago.  That is probably good.  It means I still feel young.
     My oldest daughter was only three on September 11, 2001.  She actually remembers the planes hitting the twin towers.  We tuned in to one of the local stations, which wasn't normal, usually we went straight to Sesame Street.  We saw the first tower on fire and the announcer was talking about a plane hitting it and how it could have been an accident.  While he was busy speculating, the second plane hit. He kept talking, like he didn't see it. Then he realized, as we all did, that this was no accident.  Later, news came in that a plane had hit the pentagon and then another went down in a field.  That last one did not reach it's destination.  The people on that plane went down fighting, knowing that they would die.  Maybe, on September 11, 2026, my daughter will look back and realize that she remembers things that happened 25 years ago.
    My younger daughter was not even one on 9/11/01.  She may remember BPs big oil spill.  She will remember things like the miners (all of them) being rescued from a mine.  I like that memory.  She will remember the Packers going to the Superbowl.  I should say winning the Superbowl.  That will be a good memory too.
     What a long way we've come.  When I got my driver's license, there were no such things as cell phones, at least not for common people.  I think police officers had bag phones, but everyday people just didn't have them.  You had to look for a pay phone if you wanted to make a call.  There was absolutely no such thing as texting.  The most distracting thing we did while driving was drink a soda and smoke a cigarette.  I think that technology is good.  As with anything, there are good points and bad.  It usually comes down to the control we have over ourselves.  I love my computer.  I love email.  I love the fact that I can keep in touch with friends that I never get to see, just by going to my facebook page.  I would probably hide in my house communicating through my computer forever and ever.  Is human interaction really necessary?  Without it the race would die, wouldn't it?  Next time you are in a room full of people, try this experiment.  Turn your phone to vibrate and then ignore it.  Or, turn it off completely. Can you do that for two hours?  Next step, enjoy the actual live people around you and then when you are done, check your messages and your texts. They will still be there.

Walking That Thin Line

     In a previous post, I talked about my goals for the year.  I mentioned that I was going to write a poem for every week this year.  I'm one poem behind, but I'm not too stressed about it.  Some days/weeks just aren't very creative.  I am pretty sure that I try too hard sometimes.  I think that some days I just need to walk away and forget what I'm trying to do.  Eventually I'll get back to it, but then I feel like I'm procrastinating.  Internal struggles are just so much fun.  Everyone has them.  Some are epic, others not so much.  Man against God, Man against the world, Man against himself, sticks in my head.  I have no idea where I heard it.  Philosophy or Theology class maybe.  It sums up any struggle that a person can have. Most of mine are with myself.  Usually the world is not against me, even though I feel that way sometimes.  That is called paranoia.  I've been taught that God is never against me, so I think the struggle would be mostly on my end.  That's called faith. The struggle with myself is constant.  It seems that I am always arguing with myself about something.  Getting up in the morning is one of my biggest struggles.  It is a good thing that I have to get up for work or I would probably sleep all day.

     Since I started writing, I am a little more motivated to get out of bed.  I think that I may be addicted to writing and reading.  I've read of other writers who feel that way too.  Those of us who have a family, a full time job, and a million other things going on, feel guilty when we take time for ourselves.  In some cases we are made to feel guilty by those around us who need or want something from us.  Sometimes these people don't even realize that they are being unnecessarily needy or that they are making us feel guilty.  And sometimes, we get lost in our writing and need to remember that we have families and jobs and a million other things that need our attention.  It's a thin line to walk.  It is also a really good way to create inner struggle and, for that matter, outer struggle.  How you deal with these struggles makes you who you are.  Do you run and hide,  give up on yourself or others, or work even harder to accomplish everything and stay balanced?  Oh boy, just thinking about it makes my head hurt.  The laundry and the dishes are piled up to the ceiling.  The floors are covered with dog and cat hair, feathers, and whatever was on the bottom of my husband's boots.  All the garbage cans are full, no one's taken care of recyclables for at least a week, the cupboards and fridge are empty, and when in the hell am I going to get to take a shower?  Wait, the kids need to go where?  We've all been there and worse.  Somehow we live through it to struggle another day.  Stay positive and remember to breathe.

On Having Nothing to Write About

     One of the reasons why I waited so long to start a blog was that I was afraid that I would run out of things to write about.  Is it okay to write about nothing?  It is still writing, still practice, isn't it?  It reminds me of Seinfeld, I never really liked the show exactly, but I got why it was funny.  It really was about nothing.  It was also about everything.  There is a reason that it was so popular and survived for so long.  In one way or another, it touched everyone.  It must be a good feeling to create a show that you eventually have to step away from.  It wasn't cancelled.  They actually had to decide that they weren't making anymore more episodes.  They were able to write their own exit.  That is the kind of project everyone wants isn't it?  To have a project that is so good that no one would ever dream of telling you to stop.  Oprah has that too.  It seems that everything she touches turns to gold. Everyone she sticks out her neck for, somehow succeeds.
     I've been having trouble charging my laptop, which is at least 6 years old.  I've started saving things to flash drives and pulling of as much as I can in an hour.  That is all the time I have until the battery runs out.  We are never really sure if it is going to charge again.  We are trying to get the pictures off so we don't lose them. My digital camera rocks.  It is really easy to use and you always know what you are going to get.  It doesn't mean that I can keep my pics any better organized than all those prints in the three boxes in the cabinet under the end table.  What a mess.
     If you had one hour to get everything off of your computer before it crashed, what would you start with?  Usually you don't get an hour, do you?  I keep telling myself that I am going to back everything up immediately.  Remember when I said I was a procrastinator?  Well, it isn't a very good excuse, but it's the truth.  I blame it on my laziness.  When the computer is working, all is right with the world.  When it crashes, look out.

Another Fear

     Welcome to Phobia Phriday.  I am full of fears, who isn't?  Some people are better at hiding them than others. Just about everyone, who knows me, knows that I'm afraid of frogs, but my fear of public speaking doesn't come up very often.  It's a pretty common fear though. How do I deal with it?  I am not a celebrity, the chance to speak or appear in front of a large group doesn't really come up very often. I have been asked to read at weddings and give reports during class, and there is always a lot of stress involved.  Sweaty palms, stomach ache, all the regular symptoms come into play.  Before I get up in front of a group, there is quite a bit of self-dialogging going on.  Yes, I talk to myself a lot, but to get up in front of a group, there is usually a fair bit of arguing.  The "just do it!" side always wins, which is good, but I'm still scared the whole time I'm in front of a group.  
     Part of me must like a challenge, because a few of years ago I started teaching Religious Education to high schoolers.   High schoolers are another fear of mine, but we'll get to that another day.  The first time I had to stand in front of the high school students to "teach,"  I was scared to death.  There were freshmen, sophomores, and juniors there, and they all just stared at me with blank these stares.  So "why be scared, they don't even know you are there" was one side of my inner dialogue.  Another side was "they hate me, I can't do this."  As I got to know the individual students, it got a little better.  No, I didn't give up.  Now my freshmen are juniors and they kinda feel like friends.  I still get the blank stares when we are actually trying to go through a lesson, but I don't worry about it as much, I just try to keep it interesting.  I also do not stand behind a podium like I did on the first class. I sit in a chair at their level.  I decided on the chair after a few classes full of blank stares.  They didn't know or care that I was scared to death of them.  I had my papers on the podium, all ready to start being ignored again, when I decided that I wasn't going to use the podium anymore.  I slid the podium out of the way, grabbed my papers and sat down in a chair between two students.  One of the students asked what I was doing, and I said "I can probably be ignored just as well from down here, don't you think?"  Yes, I was having a bad day, but I am much more comfortable teaching now and some of them actually listen.  I don't think I've conquered my fear of public speaking, and I'm not sure that is even possible.  I have decided to take each event as it's own entity and find a way to make it work.  Whether it takes arguing with myself or changing the dynamics of the situation, I'm learning.