On Having Nothing to Write About

     One of the reasons why I waited so long to start a blog was that I was afraid that I would run out of things to write about.  Is it okay to write about nothing?  It is still writing, still practice, isn't it?  It reminds me of Seinfeld, I never really liked the show exactly, but I got why it was funny.  It really was about nothing.  It was also about everything.  There is a reason that it was so popular and survived for so long.  In one way or another, it touched everyone.  It must be a good feeling to create a show that you eventually have to step away from.  It wasn't cancelled.  They actually had to decide that they weren't making anymore more episodes.  They were able to write their own exit.  That is the kind of project everyone wants isn't it?  To have a project that is so good that no one would ever dream of telling you to stop.  Oprah has that too.  It seems that everything she touches turns to gold. Everyone she sticks out her neck for, somehow succeeds.
     I've been having trouble charging my laptop, which is at least 6 years old.  I've started saving things to flash drives and pulling of as much as I can in an hour.  That is all the time I have until the battery runs out.  We are never really sure if it is going to charge again.  We are trying to get the pictures off so we don't lose them. My digital camera rocks.  It is really easy to use and you always know what you are going to get.  It doesn't mean that I can keep my pics any better organized than all those prints in the three boxes in the cabinet under the end table.  What a mess.
     If you had one hour to get everything off of your computer before it crashed, what would you start with?  Usually you don't get an hour, do you?  I keep telling myself that I am going to back everything up immediately.  Remember when I said I was a procrastinator?  Well, it isn't a very good excuse, but it's the truth.  I blame it on my laziness.  When the computer is working, all is right with the world.  When it crashes, look out.

Another Fear

     Welcome to Phobia Phriday.  I am full of fears, who isn't?  Some people are better at hiding them than others. Just about everyone, who knows me, knows that I'm afraid of frogs, but my fear of public speaking doesn't come up very often.  It's a pretty common fear though. How do I deal with it?  I am not a celebrity, the chance to speak or appear in front of a large group doesn't really come up very often. I have been asked to read at weddings and give reports during class, and there is always a lot of stress involved.  Sweaty palms, stomach ache, all the regular symptoms come into play.  Before I get up in front of a group, there is quite a bit of self-dialogging going on.  Yes, I talk to myself a lot, but to get up in front of a group, there is usually a fair bit of arguing.  The "just do it!" side always wins, which is good, but I'm still scared the whole time I'm in front of a group.  
     Part of me must like a challenge, because a few of years ago I started teaching Religious Education to high schoolers.   High schoolers are another fear of mine, but we'll get to that another day.  The first time I had to stand in front of the high school students to "teach,"  I was scared to death.  There were freshmen, sophomores, and juniors there, and they all just stared at me with blank these stares.  So "why be scared, they don't even know you are there" was one side of my inner dialogue.  Another side was "they hate me, I can't do this."  As I got to know the individual students, it got a little better.  No, I didn't give up.  Now my freshmen are juniors and they kinda feel like friends.  I still get the blank stares when we are actually trying to go through a lesson, but I don't worry about it as much, I just try to keep it interesting.  I also do not stand behind a podium like I did on the first class. I sit in a chair at their level.  I decided on the chair after a few classes full of blank stares.  They didn't know or care that I was scared to death of them.  I had my papers on the podium, all ready to start being ignored again, when I decided that I wasn't going to use the podium anymore.  I slid the podium out of the way, grabbed my papers and sat down in a chair between two students.  One of the students asked what I was doing, and I said "I can probably be ignored just as well from down here, don't you think?"  Yes, I was having a bad day, but I am much more comfortable teaching now and some of them actually listen.  I don't think I've conquered my fear of public speaking, and I'm not sure that is even possible.  I have decided to take each event as it's own entity and find a way to make it work.  Whether it takes arguing with myself or changing the dynamics of the situation, I'm learning.

My Greatest Fear?

     I'm afraid of frogs and toads.  Why?  I have no idea.  I've been that way as long as I can remember.  My family thinks it's cool to give me frogs and toads as gifts.  No, not real ones.  Stuffed frogs, statue frogs for the garden, frog socks and pictures of frogs are everywhere inside and outside my house.  I don't mind it really, as long as I don't open any gifts with real live creatures inside.  Most of the frogs I receive are very cute and I display them with joy.  Every once in a while, though, I get one that looks really real.  I have to do a double-take when I see it sitting in the garden.  Just when fall is about to turn into winter, we put the outdoor frogs into hibernation.  They go in a box, in the basement until spring.
     My very creative mother wrote a story about how my cat, Ivan the Terribly Cute (and that is the short version), saved me from a frog attack.  It was a fairy tale.  I slept in the high tower (the second floor) and Prince Ivan stopped a vicious little creature from getting into my bed chamber. She didn't tell me, until I had gotten married and moved out, that a frog really had gotten all the way up to the second story and almost into my room.  She caught Prince Ivan with the two hind legs of the frog sticking out of his mouth.  She decided that he was protecting me, although, he could just as easily have been bringing me a present.  (I shutter as I write.)  I am glad that she waited to tell me.
     We had frogs in our basement at that house.  This is also where we kept the washer and dryer.  I was not able to do laundry there.  I had been doing laundry since I was 5 years old.  I used to push a chair up to the top loader and lean over into the washer to get the clothes out.  There were no frogs in that basement.  I made a deal with my mother that I would fold and iron the laundry if she would take care of the washing and drying part.  That seemed to work fine until I was home alone and needed something out of the dryer.  I mustered up all the courage I could, grabbed a load to put in the washer, since I was going down there anyway, and set out toward the basement stairs.  At the top stair, I took a deep breath and put my right foot out to take that first step, and ...(shuttering again) A frog jumped straight up in the air, looked at me over the top of my clothes basket and then fell back down. I walked back up into the kitchen and decided that I didn't need the dried clothes as badly as I thought.
     I have lots of wonderful frog and toad stories.  I will share some more another day.  I have exceeded my  dosage of amphibians for today.  Maybe I could start using one day of the week to discuss my many phobias.  We could call it Phobia Phriday.  I guess that means I'll have to share another one tomorrow.

New Year's Resolutions

     It comes up every New Year's Eve.  What is your New Year's Resolution?  Well, I prefer to not make New Year's Resolutions, which I will now refer to as NYR.  First of all, has anyone actually ever kept one?  NYRs are made to be broken.  Just because it is a new year, does that mean you have to start fresh? What if you are very happy with how things are going.  Do I need to wait until the new year to start fresh?  Why not start with goals for what you would like to accomplish in the next year, month, week or even day?
    I was riding in the 'way back' of the minivan on January 8th, not the 1st, when I decided to write down some goals for the year.  Some are big, some are small and others are teeny, tiny baby steps to bigger goals.  One was to start a blog.  Check.  It took two weeks to really do it.  That's actually pretty good for me.  I do like to procrastinate.  Or we could call it "marathon planning sessions strategically timed to prolong the actual event."  Some may also call it "planning it to death." Either way I'm pretty good at it.
    Another one of my goals was to finish the two articles that I am writing for an on-line writing gig.  I wanted to finish them before the end of January.  There's still time.  I also want to write a book.  I have a great topic and it needs a lot of research.  There will also be quite a few interviews to conduct.  I am really excited to get started.  I am in the planning stages and I am searching for my interview subjects.  I was pleasantly surprised when I opened an email this morning from a lady who saw an article I wrote about her mother. She is the daughter to one of the 'characters' in the book I am going to write.  Don't you love it when they find you?  How cool is that?
    I would like to find a magazine or two to write for as a free-lancer to add to my credits as a free-lance correspondent for our local newspaper. I also love to write poetry, so I decided that I would write a poem for every week in the year.  That's 52 poems!  I got the idea from The Starving Writer website (see the link at the right).  They had a poetry contest last April (National Poetry Month).  One poem per day using their daily prompts.  We had all of May to clean up the poems and we submitted the lot at the beginning of June.  I did it just for fun, I never thought about actually winning.  Guess what?  I won!  They took 13 of my poems and made a chapbook out of them.  I received a box of them just after Christmas.  We decided to call it "Just For Fun."  So one poem a week doesn't seem like much until you add them up.  With no goal, how many would I have?  Probably not 52+.  By sharing these goals on here, I feel a little more confident that I will have to follow through, even if no one is really watching. I'll probably add some new goals as I accomplish these, and I don't think I'll wait for 'new year's' to do it.

My first blog post ever.

     I decided that today was the day to start a blog.  It has taken me all day to set it up.  Let's just say that I have a history of computer illiteracy.  I am working towards alleviating that, however, and this is one of those steps.  I am hoping to use this blog to keep myself writing everyday.  In the last year or so I've remembered that I really like to write.  I also figured that if others could see it, I would have the motivation to remain positive.  So, I do not plan to do much, if any, ranting.  I also plan to stay away from negative topics unless I feel I have a solution to a problem. 
     I have heard that a good blog has a theme or topic that it follows daily.  I have a hard time staying on one topic for very long.  I have lots of interests and a short attention span.  It is entirely possible that this blog will eventually take some sort or direction of it's own.  However, I do not plan to put any limits on it. 
     I do plan to share the struggles of an emerging writer and hopefully the eventual celebration of a successful one.  I have many interests, so you never know what you'll find here on any given day.  Make sure you come back to check up on me.  Constructive comments are always welcome, but let's keep it positive.
     Well, one post down.  Let's see how I can make this blog a little more interactive.