I received a bulk invitation, meaning everyone is welcome, to an open mic night. We are invited to share poetry, prose and music. I am not a public speaker. I don't know that I want to be. Maybe it is because I don't think that I have anything worth sharing, but I think it is more because I don't like to speak in front of groups. Maybe those are really the same reason. That makes me think I should go and do it just to break the fear. Then my fear makes excuses why I don't have time. Anyway, I think there are enough opportunities to do "open mic," I see them all the time. I think it is something that I need to work up to.
I think I need a shot of self-esteem. Does anyone know where I can get one of those? It is kind of like a money tree I guess. It takes hard work to get money. It takes lots of "Just Do It" to earn self-esteem. Why is it that no matter how much you are praised or complimented for something you just can't see the value in your work or yourself? Is it that way for everyone? Those people who get up in front of crowds and sing, dance, speak or play sports, what have they got that I ain't got? Dorothy, Tin Man and Scarecrow would say, "Courage!"
Is that something you are born with or something that is cultivated as you grow? I know that I don't have it, but I don't know why. I don't remember being discouraged or put down by anyone who really mattered to me. Everyone is picked on in school to some degree. You grow up and get over it eventually. My kids have it, but I don't know where they got it from really. If it's genetic, then it wasn't from me unless it skipped a generation. It must be their daddy's fault. I can usually blame him for most things. Sometimes, I even blame him for the good stuff.
Open mic night? Probably not this time. I really do have other plans. It's tonight and I just got the invite this morning. Maybe I can work myself up for the next one.
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