To be a poet is a condition, not a profession~ Robert Frost
"Just for the Fun of It" a chapbook published by The Starving Writer. June 4, 2010
This is a collection of my poems from the National Poetry Month Contest run by the Starving Writer. Below are the thirteen poems that were chosen to be put in the chapbook.
The Great Escape
I finally got out,
Do you think they know?
I hid way down
in the passage below.
I waited forever,
It felt like three days.
There's a light in this tunnel,
I've just found my way.
I think I hear dogs,
They're getting close now.
I am sure they can smell
the sweat from my brow.
There is no turning back,
The end is so near.
I'll have to try again
Some time next year.
The Infamous Nobody
If nobody spilled the kool-aid,
Then why is that puddle right there?
If nobody did the laundry,
Would you have any clothes to wear?
If nobody left the fridge open,
Oh, that's why it's cold in here.
If nobody took the garbage out,
It would smell affright, I fear.
If nobody ate my last cookie,
Then why are they always gone?
If nobody does the housework,
Ah, that's why it never gets done.
Hiking through the Woods
While hiking through the woods one day,
I came across a stream.
The way the sun shone off of it,
I thought it was a dream.
Looking like billions of crystals
All rolling, but it seemed
As if they turned to liquid,
With every new sunbeam.
I bent down close to touch it,
I just wanted to feel.
But it always seemed just out of reach,
I knew it couldn't be real.
Psych Evaluation/Two Sides of Me
Is it a car or a goat,
An apple or a coat?
No, it's just Ketchup.
Is it a flowering tree,
Or a bird flying free?
No, it's just KETCHUP.
Is it a balloon popping,
An octagonal sign for stopping?
NO, IT'S JUST KETCHUP!
You just aren't as much fun as me,
Look at all of the things it could be.
NO, IT'S JUST KETCHUP!!
Okay, okay I'll just clean it up.
Island Paradise?
If it truly was a paradise,
I wouldn't want to leave.
Of it truly was a paradise,
It would have everything I need.
It it truly was a paradise,
It would be fully stocked with mead.
If it truly was a paradise,
It would have good books to read.
It it truly was a paradise,
Slow would be it's speed.
Where exactly is this paradise?
And when on Earth do we leave?
Lumberjack
You're a Lumberjack
And you're OK...
With wearing
Flannel shirts all day.
You cut down trees
And send them swimming,
Down the river
With fish a brimming.
You eat flapjacks
Piled three feet high,
And still you have room
For blueberry pie.
Writer's Block
A bunch of freshly sharpened pencils,
Doesn't mean I'm ready to write.
I may just sit here and stare at them
Purely out of spite.
This brand new purple notebook,
Doesn't mean I'm ready neither.
I just received a writing prompt,
And that's not doing it either.
I may try to do a free write,
Or think about galumphing.
Oh, why is it so hard to start,
To get those words a-jumping.
Brewster's Rooster
Hi, my name is Brewster,
I've been followed here by a rooster.
But do not fret,
For he is my pet.
And yes, he's had his booster.
Lucky
I walked under a ladder once,
I though that I was fine.
But then I tripped and broke a mirror,
And spilled my glass of wine.
And then it started to rain outside,
So, I went to find my umbrella.
I opened it and out fell a mouse,
So, I guess I'm a lucky fella.
I Love the Smell of Freshly Mowed Grass
I love the smell of freshly mowed gra-a-a
A-choo!
I love the smell of freshly mowed gra-a-a
A-choo!
I love the smell of freshly mowed gra-a-a
A-choo!
I am going inside, how about you-ou-ou
A-choo!
Corn Dogs
Corn dogs, corn dogs,
I'll take two.
I love them so much,
More than you.
I love them with ketchup,
I love them plain.
I love them on the hills,
I love them on the train.
I never needed Sam I Am,
To know with all my heart.
That corn dogs have a special taste,
They are a work of art.
Who Doesn't Like Dancing Naked?
I don't like dancing naked,
It really isn't pretty.
I am not a good dancer,
It really is a pity.
Being naked won't
Help my moves at all,
In fat, it is sure
To blind and appall.
National Poetry in Your Pocket Day
There's a poem in my pocket,
I wrote it just for me.
I've never shared it with anyone,
But would you like to see?
I wrote it when I was very young,
I keep it with me always.
Once in a while I take it out,
And read it on my rough days.
Remember that, in ten years,
This may not even matter,
But everything you accomplish today
Tomorrow makes you better.
The June 4, 2010 Collection
These are the remaining 'unpublished' poems submitted for the National Poetry Month Contest from The Starving Writer.com.
No Foolin'
I don't feel very foolish today.
My foolishness has faded away.
There are too many dishes,
Too much house work to do.
No, I don't feel like foolin' with you.
Little Green Friend
I found the rainbow,
Made it to the end.
He thinks his gold
He must defend.
But really just his aid to lend.
"Please help me get back home my friend."
An Elegy to the Easter Bunny
There once was a bunny for Easter,
Who tried to give grief to my sister.
So out came the gun,
My dad sure had fun,
And then we had us quite a feaster.
Abandoned Car
I saw an old car once,
Abandoned in a field.
I wondered who it belonged to,
It's fate seemed to be sealed.
I could tell that it had been blue once,
The paint was cracked and peeled.
It sat there rusted and forgotten,
many memories to wield.
I didn't stop to ponder,
Time couldn't bear to yield.
Yes, I saw an old car once,
Abandoned in a field.
Perfect Cup of Coffee
The perfect cup of coffee
Is the one that I won't have.
It smells okay sometimes,
Other times it's just bad.
People are in such a hurry,
They have drive-thrus now for joe.
No, I don't want a mocha,
A latte, or a cappuccino.
It really is ridiculous,
Some drink a pot a day.
It's baffling what we do,
To get the day under way.
Tied to a Chair
I just woke up
From the strangest dream.
With a mouse and an elephant
Having ice cream.
I wanted chocolate,
The elephant had a fit.
"You are tied to a chair,
What will you do about it?"
A fog came down over us all,
And then the fog began to fall.
When I awoke the animals were gone,
But tied I was, tied right down.
In the other room I heard voices,
Pondering and arguing over their choices.
Strawberry or boysenberry,
Chocolate or white,
"Why does everything between you and me
Have to end in a fight?"
Evil Scientist
There once was an evil scientist,
He lived right next to me.
I took him to be evil,
But he proved me wrong, you see.
He had so many mangy pets,
I was sure he'd lost his beans.
He looked at me, scratched his head,
And said "Listen to me please."
He said that he was looking
For a new way to kill fleas.
Death and Taxes
Death
Final Cold
Saddening Mourning Frightening
Tears Graves Waste Frustration
Maddening Confusing Draining
Angry Costly
Taxes
Those Darn Napkins
There once was a man with an answer,
For napkins stuck in the dispenser.
But try as he might,
He could not win the fight.
He gave up and left with some dancer.
The Temperature Rising
The weather outside was sticky and hot.
The firework exploded just like a shot.
It startled me so,
Could not miss the show.
It began 9:15 on the dot.
Sandy Shorts
There's sand in my pants!
There's sand in my pants!
It doesn't feel good,
But shake it I can't
As a child I enjoyed the beach,
But in the future I'll refrain,
From being buried up to my neck,
When it's about to rain.
Wash Me
I wish that they'd just wash me.
I can't do it, I'm a car.
People think it's funny,
To write "wash me" and draw stars.
My top is covered in bird dung,
My bottom is covered with tar.
I think, you know, if were clean,
I'd feel much better by far.
Happy Earth Day
For the birds that fly.
For the fish swimming by.
For the babies who cry.
Come on give it a try.
Everyday ends in 'Y'
Happy Birthday Mr. Shakespeare
An inspiration to so many,
Talent can't compare to any.
Have tried to replicate
Strive to emulate
Your style, your wit
We fancy it.
To be near to your eternal flame
Oh, our talents put to shame
But still we try
And try we must
To hitherto and
Be worthy dost.
Mix and Mingle
Mix and mingle
Mix and mingle
That's all I ever do.
It would be nice to find a man
Who feels the same way too?
Sick of dating and meeting new folks,
Don't think I can take one more bad joke.
These people are crazy, desperate and droll,
I think I'll go out for a midnight stroll.
And now the night is over once more,
I'm starting to think it's me who's a bore.
Ode to Ice Cream
When I was just a kid,
There was a saying we would say,
When we gathered 'round the table
As the dishes were cleared away.
Mom would tell us about dessert,
We'd sound a loud hooray!
Then we looked 'round at each other
And this is what we'd say:
I scream,
You scream.
We all scream,
For ice cream.
Lamb Chop Side Burns
So you don't want a beard,
and you don't want a mustache,
Maybe you're even bald.
But you can have lamb chop side burns
They are sure to impress us all.
They may be a little outdated,
But styles, they come and they go.
When you walk in with mutton chop sideburns,
There is sure to be heard a whoa!
